36 Weeks

Is it true? Can it be real? Will we really have a baby in one month?  What will she look like?  What will her name be?  What will our life be like after that?

Right now I have a lumpy, jerky, wiggly, little body inside of me, with mystery bones and parts I can feel with my hands, and jabs I can feel in my ribs and pelvis.  It's a growing bulge, a round firmness in my middle. My kids joke that I'm smarter now because I have two brains in me.  I have another month of this extraordinary condition before I trade it for an additional individual in my family.  Then I will never feel this again--this lumpy, jerky, wiggly little body in my middle.  But I will feel her in my arms.

It's getting closer. I'm at 36 weeks which means a few things:

• I can't find a good position to write on something on my lap.
• I can't find clothes that fit, so I've had to wear Ephraim's shirts.
• I struggle putting on and taking off my socks and shoes.
• My face is fuller (and everywhere else too).
• My once protruding belly button is flattening out.
• Picking up things from the floor feels like a squat workout.
• I get understanding looks and offers to help at the store.
• I constantly have a mental debate about baby names.
• It's getting hotter, and any clothes are too many clothes.
• I can't help but nap at least once sometimes twice a day.
• I get extra hugs from my kids.
• I have to turn to the side to cook and wash dishes.
• I accidently brush my belly against walls and doors because my spatial mind doesn't keep up with my growth.
• I empathize with overweight people.
• I dream of holding that sweet baby in my arms.